Autumn Sorrows (1994)

Frosted leaves crunch under my feet;
I walk aimlessly, my mind spinning,
Freewheeling, to avoid the painful thoughts.
This was supposed to be a new beginning.

Waves of happiness were replacing the pain,
The depression was over or so I thought.
Somewhere on the path though, we lost you:
Left you behind whilst battles were fought.

Perhaps this was a fight no-one could win,
For one to live, the other must die.
Who was the stronger? Who had control?
Pretence was so easy, but you were living a lie.

I shudder now as I think of that night -
We knew not the monster you released from its cage.
Terrified, we hid, cowered, barricaded ourselves in,
Our love for you vanishing in the face of your rage.

And now things are supposed to be normal again?
You reassure us you have left all that behind -
How can you be sure? You could never have envisaged this.
I trudge on alone, silently, keeping an open mind.